Before Forever (A Small Town Single Dad Romance) Read online

  My jaw clenched, and I finally turned to face him. “We all do what we have to. You’d do the same.”

  “I’d try to,” he noted. “I doubt I’d pull it off. At least not like you are.”

  I was desperate for him to stop talking about it, so I busied myself with packing up my tools and loading up the truck. But of course, he just had to follow me back and forth…talking my ear off the whole way.

  “It’s not over for you, you know. You’re still young…and you’re a good-looking guy. Not as good looking as me, of course, but…you catch my drift.”

  “I really don’t,” I huffed. “What are you going on about?”

  “I’m just sayin’…maybe it’s time to get back out there is all. Find yourself a nice woman…a mother for Emily.”

  I tossed my metal toolbox into the back of the truck and slammed the door shut behind it before spinning around to glare at him face to face. The veins in my neck were bulging, my nostrils flaring with hot and heavy breaths.

  “Emily has a mother. She’s just not…,” my voice caught on a lump in my throat. “No one can replace her.”

  As soon as I got the words out, I rushed back to what I was doing, sweeping away the clumps of sawdust into one big, neat and tidy pile. But Keith was relentless.

  “It’s not about replacing anyone, Derek. It’s about being happy. It’s been three years now. I know you’re lonely.”

  “You’re one to talk,” I teased, desperate to lighten the mood and to talk about anything but me and my non-existent love life…which, as far as I was concerned, died right along with Rebecca in that car crash. And I had no interest in reviving it.

  “You’re every bit as single as I am,” I reminded him. “But I have a reason for it. What’s your excuse?”

  His lips parted to say something smart ass back as I swung open my truck's driver’s side door and climbed in. Just before I shut the door, he defended, “I can’t help it if every woman in this town wants me. It’d be selfish of me to put all my attention on one of them when there’s enough to go around.”

  I rolled my eyes and shook my head. “One day, you’re going to regret not committing to someone who will still love you when you’re old.”

  “If that’s how you feel, it seems like you should consider what I said,” he shot back.

  I slammed the door, tossed my hat off into the passenger’s seat, and put the truck in gear, waving to my brother as I drove off.

  Keith probably didn’t realize there was no need to hound me about moving on because everyone in town was already doing it. I was getting it from all angles these days. It was like everyone decided my mourning period had an expiration date that had passed, but I never got the memo.

  I saw everyone’s impatience with me written all over their faces every day in the pick-up line at Em’s school. Ever since it happened, the moms and the teachers looked at me differently, treated me weird.

  It didn’t help that I was the only dad who dropped their kid off every morning and picked them up every afternoon. And every single one of those moms was chattering about me for one reason or another.

  The married ones pitied me. The single ones gawked and giggled, always baking me casseroles and pies…most of which I politely thanked them for, then threw out on the back porch for the possums and raccoons when I got home. By now, every critter within a hundred miles came to feast on my property, and they had plumped up into some of the fattest fur balls I’d ever seen.

  But my stress and annoyance with all their prying eyes would always fade the moment Em came running through those front doors of the school with wide excited eyes and a big smile. She was a spirited girl, like her mom. And cheerful too. Every afternoon she couldn’t wait to tell me about her day, which, despite everything we’d been through, was always the best day of her life, from the way she told it.

  “Daddy! Daddy! You’ll never guess what happened today!” she gushed as I circled around the truck to help her buckle her seatbelt. “We’re performing Mother Goose for the entire school, and I get to play Bo Peep! I have to practice my lines, but I’m so excited I don’t think I’ll be able to remember any of them!”

  “Well, well. Bo Peep, huh? That’s a mighty big honor. I’m sure you’ll do just fine. You’ll memorize those lines in no time. I’ll even help you.”

  “Oh, will you, Daddy!? Thank you, thank you!”

  I laughed as she barely took time to catch her breath before rattling off to tell me about the rest of her day. She talked all the way to the library, where we stopped on the way home, then started up again and didn’t stop until we got home. I loved Em’s stories, and how worked up she’d get while tellin’ them.

  I had even become rather invested in the dramatic twists and turns of elementary school kid society. I knew all her classmates' names and their ever-changing dynamics, like how Billy and Blake were best friends last week…but this week, Billy only wants to hang out with Chris, and Blake isn’t taking it too well. So, Em was a sweetheart and gave him a cookie at lunch to cheer him up. Just like her mama would have done.

  “Go inside and put your things away while I get dinner started,” I told Em as we climbed out of my truck back at the house.

  She took off running through the neighbor’s chickens that had crowded around my front porch. Cindy was standing nearby clucking and calling them home, but she stopped when she saw me.

  “Well, hey there, Derek,” she smiled wide, holding up a hand to shield her eyes from the sun. “You’re a sight for sore eyes. Our paths haven’t been crossin’ as much lately, it seems.” She glanced over to my old basset hound, Hank, who was only just now realizing we were home. He slowly stood up and trudged his way over to Em with his tail wagging.

  “I’ve been busy. You know how it goes,” I told her.

  “I know,” she waved it off. “You don’t have to tell me. But I do owe you and Em supper some time to thank you for fixing my barn.”

  “Don’t mention it. You don’t owe us a thing.”

  “I insist,” she said firmly, and I knew without a doubt that whenever that supper happened, there’d conveniently be some single woman from around town also in attendance.

  But Cindy’s attention had turned to the house across the lake. “Did ya hear about Mrs. Hart?” I shook my head ‘no.’ “That poor woman was only fifty, but she passed away a few weeks ago. She lived in upstate New York, and I hadn’t seen her around these parts much in the past few years. It was so strange for her to buy that place and just let it sit there and waste away. I hope whoever ends up with that place takes good care of it. I imagine it’ll need a lot of work to get it back in good shape.”

  I stared at the lake house for a moment, remembering how pretty it used to look at night when its lights would shine out over the water. But Cindy was right. Those lights hadn’t been on in years, and far as I could tell…a crew came to do maintenance maybe once a year. Not nearly enough to keep it up.

  We chatted about the old house for a few minutes, then I went to feed the dog and get started on dinner. I wasn’t a great cook by any means, but I knew how to make hot dogs, steaks, and hamburgers. Em didn’t seem to mind, and Hank definitely didn’t. He was accustomed to getting the leftovers, and I pretended not to notice when Em snuck little bites to him under the table.

  I helped Em practice her lines after dinner then tucked her into bed. Turning out her light and kissing her goodnight was my least favorite part of the day. Because when all that busyness was over…the house was quiet, and I was alone. I missed the days when Rebecca and I would do all those things together, and the reward after a long, hard day was to cuddle up with her on the porch swing with a beer in hand and just talk the night away.

  Most nights, I went out onto the porch alone and just stood there…though I couldn’t bring myself to sit on the swing without her. Instead, I paced around and sipped my beer while standing, staring out over the lake in every direction.

  I couldn’t stop thinking of Rebecca’s smile that evening for some reason, and it made my heart ache. It got me thinking about everything my brother had said. Part of me wanted to believe he was right…that maybe I should try to find someone, even if only for Em’s sake.

  I looked around the front yard as Hank rolled over and started to snore. Even more than remembering Rebecca, it hurt worse to imagine bringing someone else here…intruding on all the places that used to be hers. Still were hers, as far as I was concerned.

  I quickly shook off any notion of that ever happening, knowing what was best for me and Em was just to push forward alone.

  “Come on, Hank,” I whistled. “Time for bed.”

  3

  MELODY

  I woke up extra early the next morning and was thrilled to be greeted with a glorious day. The sky was deep blue with perfect white fluffy clouds, and big bright beams of sunlight shone in through my windows.

  I ignored how the light exposed my collection of unpacked boxes, making them seem even more dismal and depressing. One thing at a time, I thought.

  I stretched in bed and considered attempting to get in a quick workout before heading into the office. I needed to clear my head and conquer the day, to prove to my boss that I really was back at full capacity and wouldn’t let him down. But what better way to prove that than to go in early? The old me was the first one there every morning and the last to leave every night. How else would Ethan have had so much time to run around behind my back with Natasha?

  That was it. Old Melody was back…What was left of her anyway. I’d go in early, hit the ground running, and crush it, completely vindicating myself from bursting into tears and running out early the afternoon before, after my already long lunch.

  After a quick shower, I slipped into one of my best pantsuits and headed
off, stopping to pick up coffee and bagels for everyone on the way. My heart was still heavy, but I smiled and held my head high as I strutted down the sidewalks. My arms were full with the giant box from the bakery along with a to-go carrier of steaming coffee cups. I was convinced the gesture would make everyone in the office forget about how absent I’d been over the past few weeks. Food and coffee could make up for just about any mistake that didn’t involve losing the firm a lot of money. I may have put a few big clients at risk, but nothing had been lost yet. And I was ready to get down to business with cleaning up any areas that had slipped into disarray during my frequent days off.

  My arms were so full, in fact, that when my phone started buzzing, I nearly dropped all of the coffee as I attempted to gently place them on a stoop to free my hand and answer. I would have let it go to voicemail had I not noticed my boss’s name flashing across the screen.

  “Melody, hi. I hope you’re feeling better today,” he said in a rushed tone.

  “Actually, I am,” I assured him. “Much, much better. I’ll be at the office in about….”

  “About that,” he cut me off. “I was hoping to catch you before you left home. I wanted to apologize because yesterday made it clear that we pushed you into coming back too soon. So after you left, I did something I should have done long before now. I moved your accounts over to Jeffrey to take the pressure off you. So you can take as much time as you need.”

  I gave up on balancing the tray of coffees, and my arm went limp from the shock of his words, sending them all crashing to the ground. They splashed on a few people passing by, causing them to curse and glare at me with dirty looks. But I was a million miles away and could barely register any of that.

  “Frank, no. I don’t need you to do that. Yesterday was rough, I know, but I really am ready to come back,” I defended, my voice cracking with desperation.

  “Clearly, you’re not, but it’s okay. You’ve been through a lot, and….”

  “That’s right. I have,” I snipped, growing angrier by the second. “And I don’t think it’s fair for you to punish me for needing time off after my own mother passed away.”

  “Listen to yourself, Melody. That’s not what’s happening here. I’m trying to give you all the time you need. It’s not a punishment. I’m trying to help you,” he argued. “I’m afraid I really must insist. I recommend a week, but Jeffrey’s got it handled…so like I said, take as long as you need.”

  Of course, Jeffrey was handling it because it was a chance for him to steal my job and all of the big-name clients that went with it. He had been eying my corner office ever since I got picked for the promotion over him. I always knew that one tiny slip on my part would send him sniffing around my clients like a vulture. I just didn’t realize my mother dying could count as me “slipping.”

  “What do you mean you recommend a week?” I stammered, trying to shake off the rage.

  “It’s all under control. If you need two weeks, three weeks, a month…Anything longer than sixty days, and you’d just have to take it up with human resources, but nothing here is going up in flames without you.”

  Ouch. First, I was replaceable for Ethan, and now I was replaceable at my job. Or so Frank thought. I knew better. I knew Jeffrey couldn’t manage everything as well as I had. The longer I was away, the bigger chance he stood at convincing Frank he shouldn’t let me come back…and the more damage he would do with our clientèle. Every second that passed, I imagined a huge mess growing which I’d have to single-handedly clean up when I returned.

  But…there was the lake house which I was eager to get squared away as soon as possible. Frank had already made up his mind, so I could take the opportunity to get Silver Point over while placating him. Two birds with one stone. Maybe by the time I came back, I’d finally manage to convince him (and myself) that I was going to be okay.

  “Okay, Frank…Sure,” I sighed finally, accepting defeat for now. “Thanks for setting that up, and be sure to thank Jeffrey for me as well.” It was painful to say, but I knew it’d make me look good. Those words were just stepping stones to my eventual return.

  “Take care, Melody.”

  The call ended, leaving me standing there alone on the sidewalk with suddenly nowhere to go, a mess of spilled coffees scattered on the ground in front of me, and a giant box of bagels that would go to waste. I wanted to cry, but breaking down in tears yesterday was what got me into this mess. I wasn’t going to let it happen again, just to prove to myself that I could be strong.

  Out of spite, I chucked the big box of bagels into the trash and called up the one person who stood any chance at making me feel better.

  Katie was editor in chief at an artsy magazine and was the only person I had ever met who could make modern art make sense to literally anyone she talked to. She was the epitome of a New York City woman in every way, from her style to her attitude. I secretly aspired to be just like her for years, and I was lucky enough to be able to call her my best friend.

  A couple of hours later, she found me waiting on the patio at one of our favorite lunch spots. The black iron tables and chairs were surrounded by lush greenery that gave the feeling of an escape into nature from the crowded pollution of the city. It was like hiding behind a curtain for an hour or so before venturing back out into the madness. It had served as the perfect backdrop for Katie and me to discuss everything from our love lives to our families to our jobs. Though up until recently, work always took the main stage.

  I was pouting and sipping a cocktail when she walked up in her pristine white suit, looking like a breath of fresh air that I wished I could be, so strong and elegant. Definitely not screwing things up at work or falling to pieces like me.

  Immediately, she held out her arms, letting me crash into them like a sobbing mess. But I was still determined to keep my tears at bay. But that didn’t mean I wasn’t in desperate need of a hug.

  I felt terribly guilty that all of our recent lunch meetings were eaten up with me lamenting over Ethan or grieving my mom. Still, Katie always insisted that she didn’t mind. It’s what friends were for, she reminded me over and over again.

  That afternoon, I caught her up on the lake house and everything the attorney said…along with smarmy old Jeffrey putting his grubby hands all over my biggest projects the first chance he got. And worse, the feeling that this was Frank’s way of slowly nudging me out the door for good. Today, it was a week off. Soon, it’d be a leave of absence. Until finally…we’d start discussing my severance package.

  “Sounds like perfect timing to me,” Katie replied after I had finished dumping everything on her. “This lake house is a godsend, really, if you think about it. It’s a project for you to focus on and a vacation all wrapped into one. If Frank’s giving you the time, take it and make the most of it. When you do come back, who knows when you’ll be able to steal another vacation.” She took a drink and laughed. “It’s kind of sad, isn’t it? In careers like ours, it takes someone dying just for us to get a little time off.”

  “It’s not really a vacation,” I reasoned to her. “I can get some work done while I’m there.”

  “Come on, Mel. A vacation wouldn’t kill you. The opposite, actually. It just might save your life. You’ve been working too hard for Frank and those assholes and they don’t appreciate you. Frank handing everything over to Jeffery like that proves as much.”

  “All the more reason to prove how wrong Frank is and to show how dedicated I am,” I argued. “And it will keep Jeffrey from getting too many ideas about taking over my portfolio permanently. I’ll work and get the house fixed up to go on the market. Once that’s all out of the way, I can come back to the city refreshed and put this whole terrible chapter of my life behind me.”

  “Here, here,” she lifted her glass to toast to that. “I vote for anything that puts some much-needed space between you and he-who-shall-not-be-named…and of course anything that gives you a well-deserved break to reset.”